Down 80 Pounds and Feeling Great.....But Sugar Cravings are NO fun

Well I've lost 80 pounds, I'm at 286, and I can go shopping at so many different stores now its really awesome, i love to shop.  I've been doing good at the gym, going from being able to only do 30 seconds on the elliptical to now doing 16 and a half minutes (1 mile) on the elliptical, is really amazing.  I can't wait till i can do more, I would like to take some of the classes my gym has to offer, but i know i'm not in enough shape right now, there's just no way i would be able to keep up.  When i get to 250 or so I'm going to get a couple of personal trainer sessions at my gym so i can know how to kick up my workouts a notch. 
Food issues are still really hard for me, i hate it, i wish i had some of the problems with food that i hear alot of people have, but i have no problems with anything really, salad makes me gurgle a bit though, and i think popcorn gives me a weird feeling, but i have never puked, or had anything come back up, not to mention its really hard to get down to just the 3 meals a day that my surgeon wants me on, and at my support group meeting yesterday the dietician said you should have 3 meals a day plus 2 snacks, and i know your suppose to listen to your surgeons guidelines, but i wonder if the 2 snacks would help.  I seem to be fine when i'm busy, i don't think about food or anything, but if i'm home not doing anything like today, it seems to be all thats on my mind, and yes of course i did bad already and its only noon, i did good this morning, i had a 250 calorie breakfast or so, mostly protein, but then after a while i started thinking of the icecream in the freezer, and i kept telling myself no i don't need it no don't get it, ugggg, and then of course i ended up getting some, banana pudding ice cream....I hate this I feel bad about it now, I know i shouldn't have had it, but its like i didn't have any control....I know i shouldn't keep that stuff in my house, i should just get rid of it, and usually I'm good at not keeping the bad stuff in my house, but lately i have just been craving sweets something feirce.  The simple sugar free pudding cups or sugar free popsicles aren't covering the sweet cravings right now.  I'm thinking about going through my pantry and maybe donating some of the unopened stuff that we shouldn't have to the battered womens shelter down the street i'm sure they could use that stuff way more then i could. 

My Gastric Sleeve Journey Video 7 June 3, 2011

This my Gastric Sleeve Journey Video 7 from june 3, 2011 at the end of the video i included my little happy dance for hitting twoderville (200s) although at the time i made it i wasn't really that happy i was kinda in a bad mood, depressed, irritable, just not all there really,  had been for the past 3 weeks, i'm feeling a lot better now though.

Falling Apart and Don't know what to do

I think I've been Sabotaging myself, ever since i got into the low 300's and now to the high 200's I've been stressing out really bad, and getting depressed and worried, and it's a time i should be happy and celebrating.  But what it means is I'm getting closer to that point when we're going to start trying for a baby, the big giant reason for this surgery after all, and all i can remember are the several years we tried with no success and the depression that followed, and the emptiness, and the feeling of loss even though there wasn't a loss, because there was never a pregnancy.  I know it's only been 2 months so we still have at the very least 10 more months before we can start trying, but with me dropping the weight like this it just feels more real, and I started to worry about when that time comes and what if......what if we still can't get pregnant, what if i finally do get pregnant and i miscarry, what if i never get pregnant, what if there's something else wrong with me.  I know it's early on to already be stressing about these  things, but i was in so much pain when we were trying before and I really hate to be in all that pain again.  It just hurt so much, it took a big giant emotional toll on me. 

6 Week follow up and missed the support group meeting

Well today was my 6 week follow up and they said I'm doing great, that i had pretty high weight loss compared to most of their patients for the first 6 weeks, so that's pretty cool. 
Oh tonight was suppose to be the monthly support group meeting, but unfortunately we had to skip it, because well we would have been stuck in Plano all day which is about an hour and a half away from where we live, its where my surgeon is and where the support group meeting is.  We went to lunch and then afterwards went to the mall to try to kill some time, had about 6 hours to kill till the support group meeting.  Well we tried to buy a bottle of water and they denied our debit card, and we're like what the hell, and we called the bank and found out we only had like 3 dollars or something in the bank,when last night i had checked and we had a little over 100, so we decided it was best to skip the support group meeting cause it would have put us at getting home after 10 pm and we couldn't have gone all day like that with no food or water, so we came home and checked our bank account and it was because of a bill i paid 2 weeks ago finally decided to take itself out, so that sucked really bad, we're paying that bill from now on in person, cause that's pretty ridiculous, it was the first time we had paid it through our online bill pay, and never again, i couldn't believe it, so yea luckily tomorrow is pay day, but it still sucks i had to miss the meeting, oh well, there's always next month. 
Monday i went to the gym and the pool was closed, so a 45 minute drive to find out the pool was closed was pretty dang annoying, but i was already planning on trying the elliptical that day, and i did, and i was able to do it for 15 minutes, which 60 pounds heavier i was only able to do it for 30 seconds and then my legs went into spasms, but this time i was able to do 15 minutes and was really wobbly went i got off, and wobbly for the rest of the day, and then the next day i woke up barely able to walk, today was a little better though, still a bit sore but not as bad, I'm still gonna try it again on Friday, tomorrow the pool is closed for cleaning so I'm not gonna drive all that way again just to do 15 min elliptical. 

5 Weeks Post op and other stuff

5 Weeks ago today I had My gastric Sleeve Surgery.  There have been some rough patches, I haven't lost the hunger at all, I"m like always hungry, and it sucks sooooo much.  Oh and I happen to be allergic to either my favorite protein powder (click) that I've found so far, or to the yummy Carmel (torani sugar free) syrup I add to it, not sure, and not sure when I'm going to test them separately to see if i have a reaction.  I tried this new Protein powder today called turbo chocolate platinum hydro whey, it actually tasted decent, but unfortunately gave me a really bad stomach ache and made me extremely nauseated, luckily i didn't drink very much before i got the stomach problems.  I have several samples of different protein powders and that was one of them, so luckily i don't have a big container of the stuff.  I'm keeping track of which ones i like, hate, or don't make me feel to good. 
Went to the gym yesterday and did water aerobics for about 45 minutes or so, was going to go again today but unfortunately when we got home last night we came home to a hot house, our ac was busted so today we had to wait around at home all day for the ac people to come look at it and ended up having to spend about a little under 300 on it, which uggggg we don't have right now, well we luckily did only because i hadn't paid mortgage yet, but I'll be able to pay that on Thursday, but that 300 dollars was suppose to go to get a new lawnmower Thursday, our 1 and a half acres is growing like crazy, haven't had a lawnmower in a long time, but hopefully we'll still be able to get one soon... but any extra money we had we were going to put towards our minivan cause that eats away all our  money, at 700 a month, so we got it down some, and we should hopefully have it paid off this year if nothing else breaks, so yea the extra money we were going to be putting on the van went to the ac being fixed and to the lawnmower, so that sucks. 
Oh and also you'd think being 60 pounds lighter would give me more energy, but no, my back kills me when i do anything, just doing dishes, or sitting, or standing or cooking, uggg, my lower back just hurts, and my left hip, and my left leg, and my legs feel wobbly or something when i walk, its weird, maybe my thyroid levels are off again i know that causes me all kinds of pains and problems, but luckily today i went in for blood tests for my thyroid so I'll hear back from my doctor soon. 

My Gastric Sleeve Journey Video 3 May 13, 2011

This is my 3rd video taken may 13, 2011

My Gastric Sleeve Journey Video 2 April 4, 2011

This is the second Video I made before my surgery.

Size 28 Blue Jeans and cancer sucks

Well damn it to all hell.......my blog from yesterday got deleted this sucks.....it was titled size 28 blue jeans and cancer sucks, and i'm not gonna remember everything i wrote so i'm upset about this.

Well yesterday I tried on some Size 28 blue jeans, I had tried them on saturday too, but they didn't fit yet, still needed a couple inches, well i hadn't lost any pounds since saturday but i decided to try the pants on anyways, and yay they fit...so i still lost some inches even though no pounds....finally today i lost a pound though so i'm happy, my body was probably just adjusting to eating solids. 

The other thing that i wrote about was well cancer, my great aunt who went into surgery to remove her cancer about the same time i had my sleeve surgery just found out she has 3 different types of cancers, and one of them is apparantly hereditary and rare, so the entire family needs to be tested for this cancer ugggg, I had so much more written and i don't remember any of it, this really does suck...had pics too.... :(

May 1, 2011 Month 5 of my Journey

May 1, 2011

Weight:  315

Measurements

Waist: 66 ¾

Hips: 63

Breasts: 53 ½

 Ankle: 10 ½

 Wrist: 8

Thigh: 31

Neck: 17

Upper Arms: 21

Clothing Sizes

(note) swimming in the 5X’s 

Dress: 4X-5X 32-24

Pant: 3X-4X 30-34

Skirt: 3X-4X 30-34

Shirt: 4X-5X 32-34

Ok i think my hubby is not taking accurate measurements, cause my waist measurement went up from jan.....ya i don't think so......oh well he tried...lol, i'm just gonna leave it cause no way to tell where exactly he was putting the measureing tape each month, so i'll just continue and just remember it's the best he could do :) I love him.....he's my booger butt :)  He's over here next to me right now eating something yummy a frozen icecream treat....at least it has pecans in it, so its not tempting to me at all not into pecans in my icecream so i told him it was ok for him to eat it in here with me..... 

Oh and i'm currently swimming in my 5X tshirts, and some of my pants are pretty big on me too.....its soooo cool, going to start going through my tubs of clothes i had when i was under 300...i'll have enough to last probably just till i get to 250 and then oh boy the shopping starts.....my favorite part :) 

April 18, 2011 Day before Surgery

Day before surgery measurements, April 18, 2011

Weight:  337.8

Measurements

Waist: 58 1/2

Hips: 65 1/4

Breasts: 56

Ankle: 11 1/2

Wrist:  8

Thigh:  32 1/4

Neck:  18 1/2

Upper Arms:  22

Clothing Sizes

Dress: 4X-5X 32-34

Pant: 3X-4X 30-34

Skirt: 3X-4X 30-34

Shirt: 4X-5X 32-34

These are from April 18, 2011 the day before my surgery.  The next two weeks were ugggg....the first week wasn't to bad, i was in pain but it wasn't as bad as i was worried it was going to be....the second week uck the constipation kicked in and that was a bitch, worst pain ever, even worse then the dang surgery pain, it was no fun at all, not even gonna go into details as to how we ended up getting rid of it, but it last like 5 days or so and it was godawful, i was screaming for my life while on the toilet it hurt so much......well just letting you pre ops know what your in for, but hope i don't scare you away, cause i'm still so happy that i had this surgery....my life is going to be so much better now....:)  

April 1, 2011 Month 4 of my journey

April 1, 2011

Weight:  342

Measurements

Waist: 60

Hips: 66

Breasts: 57

Ankle: 11

Wrist: 8 ¼

Thigh: 32 ¾

Neck: 18 ½

Upper Arms: 22

Clothing Sizes

Dress: 4X-5X 32-24

Pant: 3X-4X 30-34

Skirt: 3X-4X 30-34

Shirt: 4X-5X 32-34

This is from April 1, 2011 i know its shortly after last monthes pics and stats, but since i skipped the first of last month i wanted to make up for it and continue on with taking pics and stats on the first, so here ya go. :) That 4 week pre op diet was a bitch, but not as much of a bitch as this liquid post op 3 week diet, uggggggg....i hate soups....and not much of the drinks agree with me either right now...I cheated on the 4 week pre op, but only on the weekends, shhhhh i didn't let my doc know, but he said my liver was nice and small, but it did have fatty tissue on it and its a good thing i'm having the surgery now so i don't develop liver problems...so yay i did good....:) I lost like 20 pounds or so on the pre op diet so i was happy with that....

March 21, 2011 Month 3 of my journey

March 21, 2011

Day 1 of Pre op 4 week diet

Weight 359

Measurements

Waist: 60

Hips: 65

Breasts: 54 1/2

Ankle: 11 1/2

Wrist: 8 1/4

Thigh: 34

Neck: 19

Upper Arms: 21

Clothing Sizes

Dress: 4X-5X 32-24

Pant: 3X-4X 30-34

Skirt: 3X-4X 30-34

Shirt: 4X-5X 32-34

Ok with these pics please ignore the dirty carpet, i just wanted to get the pics taken and didn't clean first...oh well :( 

These were taken march 21 instead of march 1 because early march is when i got denied coverage for the lapband, then went on a 2 week bender....junk food, sodas, fast food....buffet's. I was pretty upset and did bad things....but funny enough didn't gain the weight i lost, or only 1 pound i guess......so i guess that's good....but that 2 weeks did make me realize that sodas are no good for me, i feel like crap when i drink sodas and that's way before ever having surgery.....so they aren't that hard to give up...and also the buffets i ended up going to the food ended up being cold at like each one and i hate cold food...so it was like a punishment for me going to the buffets lol.....although I'm gonna have to get used to eating cold food now since I'm going to have to eat so slow....but I'm sure it will be fine.....but when you get your food cold from the beginning and it was suppose to be hot...yuckkkkkk....is all i can say.  Oh unfortunately or fortunately i don't know i also found this awesome restaurant with my favorite, lemon chicken, uggg i haven't been able to find a Chinese restaurant with lemon chicken since i moved to the dfw area 5 years ago, and finally i find one and its sooooo yummy and i also discovered sushi....oh my god eel sushi is sooooo yummy and that's another thing i shouldn't really have.....or i guess i could get it with less rice.....after I'm at that stage anyways.....but i had to find this restaurant like literally a month or so before my surgery.....