update on herbalife diet and Venting about the past week of HELL

As of today 6-27-13 I have lost 16 pounds doing the herbalife diet, so I'm proud of myself no matter what horrible monsters  might have to say.
I have not been doing it every single day, I have days that are "cheat" days, I save those days for days I'm going to be out and about and stuff, but even on those days I try to watch what I'm eating and not snack throughout the day.  With the sleeve my problem isn't a big meal in one sitting, cause i really can't eat a really big meal with the sleeve, but you can end up snacking throughout the day which is not good, I have been trying to avoid snacking since I've been doing the herbalife diet, there have been times when I have gotten upset and snacked, unfortunately I'm an emotional eater and so that really sucks, but luckily this time it only lasted 2 days and I was able to pick myself back up and brush myself off and tell myself no I don't want monsters to cause me pain and put me down anymore, I'm better then them, and I need to just concentrate on myself and be proud of myself, and not worry about what anyone else thinks of me.  People that only know how to put other people down obviously have very low self esteem and self worth.
I have been through a really tough week this past week, first one of my poor dogs gets horribly hurt, she sliced her side open and we never found what she hurt herself on and we looked all over the yard and house, luckily she's doing ok, she got stitches and stuff but she's a champ, she's so loving and sweet i hate that she got hurt like that, my poor little girl.  Then the same week i get attacked by a monster of a woman, which you can read about in my previous blog.....She was a good friend of my mother in law's and i met her for all of 5 seconds, and she slammed me on facebook saying all kinds of horrible things about me mostly aimed at my weight.  This woman did not look much smaller then me either and her daughter was also extremely overweight, but like i said before she most likely has no self esteem and no self worth to be talking horribly about people the way she did.  The funny thing there were two other witnesses to the entire thing, the lady who's house we were at and my mother in law, and both thought that everything she wrote was utter garbage and lies, my husband even read it and told me that doesn't even sound anything like me.  This woman made me out to be a monster just because i let her daughter know that i was already buying this bin from the lady and her daughter was going through everything putting her hands on everything, so yea i let her know (politely) that i already told the woman i was buying it, and of course that made me a monster telling her daughter she can't have something.  My husband told me she's probably one of those women that never tells their child no, so how dare someone tell her daughter no.  So because of that she attacked me viciously about my weight and that I was going to go and gorge on all the food I just bought and stupid things.  First off all this stuff in the bins this woman sells is organic and healthy, everything in the bins consisted of nuts and olive oils and things like that, not junk food, not garbage, not something someone would sit down and gorge on even if they did stuff like that.  Not to mention I also try to give away some of the stuff when i buy it, to a friend and to my mother in law if there's anything gluten free I always make sure and give it to my mother in law, and stuff, or if i have a lot of extras of something I give them away, I DO NOT gorge on olive oil and dry whole wheat pasta and coconut oil......hmmmm I don't know that anyone would gorge on that stuff, but ok.  It was a really low blow too, this woman doesn't know anything about me, my doctors have told me not to kick myself if I don't loose the weight, I'm on so many meds and yea some of them can cause weight gain, my gastric sleeve doctor told me not to kick myself if i don't loose or even if i gain, that just try to keep my ms under control .  My neurologist told me i can only workout/walk for 2-5 minutes a day, so yea that was an extremely low blow for that woman to say anything about my weight when I have been told by doctors to not worry about that that's the last thing i should worry about right now.  This woman is just pathetic, and she's gotten into fights with my mother in laws other friends, and talks horribly about them behind their backs but yet they still want to stay friends with this monster, god knows why, with friends like her who needs enemies.  Unfortunately my mother in law also said some bad things about me to this woman.....she wanted someone to vent to and she vented to a monster of a woman....I don't mind if she wants to vent about things that piss her off about me but please i beg of her to find a more trustworthy friend to do such things, I mean i have to vent about her at times and i have a friend that I trust 100% to never tell her things I'm venting about. One of the things that really pissed me off is she told this woman i don't let my husband drink sodas, and this woman went off on that, like its any of her business what I allow in my house.  And by the way its not that i don't let my husband drink sodas, he made a promise to me when I had the gastric sleeve surgery that we would both quit sodas together, hell his mom has diabetes he really doesn't need the extra sugar so it really hurt me that she would say anything bitching about that kind of thing, and of course before this awful woman attacked me he was messing with me at my mother in laws house saying he wants a mountain dew.....and his mother knowing our agreement told him he's a grown man go get one if he wants one.....oh that pissed me off so much, I really wish he would have told her then and there about the promise he made to me but no he's to much of a chicken S*&^ so yea I'm made out to be a horrible monster because i don't allow my husband to have a mountain dew oh my god.........I have asked him to sit down and talk to her and let her know that when he says stupid things like he wants a soda while we're at her house that he's just messing with me.....and tell her that he made a promise to me and that means something.
So after all that crap....the very next day after getting attacked my that horrible woman.....i got taken out into the hallway at my stepsons birthday party and basically got scolded by his mom saying that I did this that and the other and I'm looking at her like what....and trying to explain myself and of course she wouldn't let me speak at all.......because whatever her son says is truth no matter what........well after that I sat my husband down and told him he better sit her down and tell her EVERYTHING.  And finally after years and years of me telling him he needs to sit down and tell her everything he finally does.......and we find out that my stepson is a big giant liar to all of us and most of his anger and lies and put at me, that he's telling his mom i did this or that or said this or that that never happened and he comes to us telling us his mom did this or that or the other and that she says these horrible things about me all the time and that never happened.......she got him to admit he was lying about what she "attacked" me about at his party.  It really makes me feel like utter crap to know that all those horrible things he said his mom said were actually coming from him......it was bad enough he was "repeating" stuff like that but for them to actually have come from him makes it that much worse and that much more painful for me.  He was apparently trying to break me and my husband up in a really stupid manner, for some reason he thought talking horrible about me and his mom to each other would break us up and my husband would want to run back to her even though my stepson said all these horrible things about her.....he didn't really think that one threw very well.  Sorry kid I'm in it for the long haul whether you like it or  not.  We're going through fertility treatments to try and have a baby and everything and he knows about that but yet he thought he could break us up by saying mean things about his mother....OMG its the most pathetic stupid ploy I have ever heard.  But now because of all this we find out from his therapist he has dissociative  disorder or something.....so now we have to coddle him and treat him like a baby.......after all the horrible things he said to and about me that part makes me extremely sick to my stomach, but I'll do what I have to do and just get through it.  Oh and all that happened a week before we'll be getting him for a month.....so yea that's just the cherry on top of the big pile of sh$t

Measurements for October

October 5, 2011

Weight:  274

Measurements

Waist: 52

Hips: 57

Breasts: 50

Ankle: 10

Wrist: 7 1/2

Thigh: 29

Neck: 16

Upper Arms: 19

Clothing Sizes

Dress: 2X-3X

Pant: 2X-3X Jeans 26

Skirt: 2X-3X

Shirt: 2X-3X 18-24

July 1, 2011 Pics and Measurements

I'm listing my old clothes that don't fit anymore on Ebay, if anyone is interested you can find them at  http://myworld.ebay.com/leslieanntexas/  I'll be adding more as I get smaller, I only have 3 listings right now, but i have a ton more to list, so keep watching out for new stuff, I have alot of stuff still with tags, or new without tags, or gently used. 
I'm a bit late in posting this but the pics and measurements and weight were all taken on the first of this month.

July 1, 2011

Weight:  289

Measurements

Waist: 54

Hips: 59

Breasts: 52 1/2

Ankle: 11

Wrist: 7 3/4

Thigh: 30 1/2

Neck: 16 3/4

Upper Arms: 18 3/4

Clothing Sizes

Dress: 2X-3X 22-24

Pant: 3X-4X 26-28

Skirt: 3X 26-28

Shirt: 22-26 2X-3X can even fit into some size 18-20s

Down 80 Pounds and Feeling Great.....But Sugar Cravings are NO fun

Well I've lost 80 pounds, I'm at 286, and I can go shopping at so many different stores now its really awesome, i love to shop.  I've been doing good at the gym, going from being able to only do 30 seconds on the elliptical to now doing 16 and a half minutes (1 mile) on the elliptical, is really amazing.  I can't wait till i can do more, I would like to take some of the classes my gym has to offer, but i know i'm not in enough shape right now, there's just no way i would be able to keep up.  When i get to 250 or so I'm going to get a couple of personal trainer sessions at my gym so i can know how to kick up my workouts a notch. 
Food issues are still really hard for me, i hate it, i wish i had some of the problems with food that i hear alot of people have, but i have no problems with anything really, salad makes me gurgle a bit though, and i think popcorn gives me a weird feeling, but i have never puked, or had anything come back up, not to mention its really hard to get down to just the 3 meals a day that my surgeon wants me on, and at my support group meeting yesterday the dietician said you should have 3 meals a day plus 2 snacks, and i know your suppose to listen to your surgeons guidelines, but i wonder if the 2 snacks would help.  I seem to be fine when i'm busy, i don't think about food or anything, but if i'm home not doing anything like today, it seems to be all thats on my mind, and yes of course i did bad already and its only noon, i did good this morning, i had a 250 calorie breakfast or so, mostly protein, but then after a while i started thinking of the icecream in the freezer, and i kept telling myself no i don't need it no don't get it, ugggg, and then of course i ended up getting some, banana pudding ice cream....I hate this I feel bad about it now, I know i shouldn't have had it, but its like i didn't have any control....I know i shouldn't keep that stuff in my house, i should just get rid of it, and usually I'm good at not keeping the bad stuff in my house, but lately i have just been craving sweets something feirce.  The simple sugar free pudding cups or sugar free popsicles aren't covering the sweet cravings right now.  I'm thinking about going through my pantry and maybe donating some of the unopened stuff that we shouldn't have to the battered womens shelter down the street i'm sure they could use that stuff way more then i could. 

My Gastric Sleeve Journey Video 7 June 3, 2011

This my Gastric Sleeve Journey Video 7 from june 3, 2011 at the end of the video i included my little happy dance for hitting twoderville (200s) although at the time i made it i wasn't really that happy i was kinda in a bad mood, depressed, irritable, just not all there really,  had been for the past 3 weeks, i'm feeling a lot better now though.

Falling Apart and Don't know what to do

I think I've been Sabotaging myself, ever since i got into the low 300's and now to the high 200's I've been stressing out really bad, and getting depressed and worried, and it's a time i should be happy and celebrating.  But what it means is I'm getting closer to that point when we're going to start trying for a baby, the big giant reason for this surgery after all, and all i can remember are the several years we tried with no success and the depression that followed, and the emptiness, and the feeling of loss even though there wasn't a loss, because there was never a pregnancy.  I know it's only been 2 months so we still have at the very least 10 more months before we can start trying, but with me dropping the weight like this it just feels more real, and I started to worry about when that time comes and what if......what if we still can't get pregnant, what if i finally do get pregnant and i miscarry, what if i never get pregnant, what if there's something else wrong with me.  I know it's early on to already be stressing about these  things, but i was in so much pain when we were trying before and I really hate to be in all that pain again.  It just hurt so much, it took a big giant emotional toll on me. 

6 Week follow up and missed the support group meeting

Well today was my 6 week follow up and they said I'm doing great, that i had pretty high weight loss compared to most of their patients for the first 6 weeks, so that's pretty cool. 
Oh tonight was suppose to be the monthly support group meeting, but unfortunately we had to skip it, because well we would have been stuck in Plano all day which is about an hour and a half away from where we live, its where my surgeon is and where the support group meeting is.  We went to lunch and then afterwards went to the mall to try to kill some time, had about 6 hours to kill till the support group meeting.  Well we tried to buy a bottle of water and they denied our debit card, and we're like what the hell, and we called the bank and found out we only had like 3 dollars or something in the bank,when last night i had checked and we had a little over 100, so we decided it was best to skip the support group meeting cause it would have put us at getting home after 10 pm and we couldn't have gone all day like that with no food or water, so we came home and checked our bank account and it was because of a bill i paid 2 weeks ago finally decided to take itself out, so that sucked really bad, we're paying that bill from now on in person, cause that's pretty ridiculous, it was the first time we had paid it through our online bill pay, and never again, i couldn't believe it, so yea luckily tomorrow is pay day, but it still sucks i had to miss the meeting, oh well, there's always next month. 
Monday i went to the gym and the pool was closed, so a 45 minute drive to find out the pool was closed was pretty dang annoying, but i was already planning on trying the elliptical that day, and i did, and i was able to do it for 15 minutes, which 60 pounds heavier i was only able to do it for 30 seconds and then my legs went into spasms, but this time i was able to do 15 minutes and was really wobbly went i got off, and wobbly for the rest of the day, and then the next day i woke up barely able to walk, today was a little better though, still a bit sore but not as bad, I'm still gonna try it again on Friday, tomorrow the pool is closed for cleaning so I'm not gonna drive all that way again just to do 15 min elliptical. 

New Hair Cut and Ears Pierced

Well Yesterday we had a family BBQ, it was me, my husband, my stepson, and my husbands parents.  We invited my brother in law and his fiancee too, but they couldn't make it cause they had a graduation or something to go to.  Well we had a nice time, There was lots of food, and i didn't feel deprived at all, i had just a little bit of everything, and then after we all went to see kung fu panda 2, luckily we were the first ones to see that movie so we got the best seats and then people starting filling the place up.  After the movie i got my ears re pierced because they had closed up on me, and then me and my husband both got haircuts, i got mine a little above my shoulders, its really cute. 
Today I went to the pool with my mother in law and my step son and we had a lot of fun, we all played races who could swim or walk across the pool to the other side the fastest, it was fun and definitely a good workout. 
Oh and i realized that i don't mind sharing with perfect strangers that i had the sleeve surgery, yesterday i told the lady that cut my hair i just lost more then 60 pounds so i needed a change, and i told her i had the sleeve surgery, and then today when i went to lunch with my mother in law and stepson the waitress asked if i didn't like my food cause i didn't eat very much, so i told her i had the sleeve surgery so I'm not able to eat very much.  I've read a lot of people don't really like sharing that information with strangers, but i don't mind, I'm perfectly fine telling people i had the sleeve, and i don't see why not, I'm proud i had it, I'm giving myself a second chance at life having the sleeve.  I'm a sleever and I'm proud. :)  And i hope all you fellow sleevers out there are just as proud of your sleeve as i am of mine. :)

This picture is what i served myself, knowing i wasn't going to be able to finish it of course, just wanted to try a little bit of everything.

This picture is what i wasn't able to finish eating, my husband finished it off for me since he was in the shower while we were eating this was his first plate of food.

These are strawberry canoli's i made for the BBQ got the recipe on theworldaccordingtoeggface blog.

This pic is of my new haircut.

5 Weeks Post op and other stuff

5 Weeks ago today I had My gastric Sleeve Surgery.  There have been some rough patches, I haven't lost the hunger at all, I"m like always hungry, and it sucks sooooo much.  Oh and I happen to be allergic to either my favorite protein powder (click) that I've found so far, or to the yummy Carmel (torani sugar free) syrup I add to it, not sure, and not sure when I'm going to test them separately to see if i have a reaction.  I tried this new Protein powder today called turbo chocolate platinum hydro whey, it actually tasted decent, but unfortunately gave me a really bad stomach ache and made me extremely nauseated, luckily i didn't drink very much before i got the stomach problems.  I have several samples of different protein powders and that was one of them, so luckily i don't have a big container of the stuff.  I'm keeping track of which ones i like, hate, or don't make me feel to good. 
Went to the gym yesterday and did water aerobics for about 45 minutes or so, was going to go again today but unfortunately when we got home last night we came home to a hot house, our ac was busted so today we had to wait around at home all day for the ac people to come look at it and ended up having to spend about a little under 300 on it, which uggggg we don't have right now, well we luckily did only because i hadn't paid mortgage yet, but I'll be able to pay that on Thursday, but that 300 dollars was suppose to go to get a new lawnmower Thursday, our 1 and a half acres is growing like crazy, haven't had a lawnmower in a long time, but hopefully we'll still be able to get one soon... but any extra money we had we were going to put towards our minivan cause that eats away all our  money, at 700 a month, so we got it down some, and we should hopefully have it paid off this year if nothing else breaks, so yea the extra money we were going to be putting on the van went to the ac being fixed and to the lawnmower, so that sucks. 
Oh and also you'd think being 60 pounds lighter would give me more energy, but no, my back kills me when i do anything, just doing dishes, or sitting, or standing or cooking, uggg, my lower back just hurts, and my left hip, and my left leg, and my legs feel wobbly or something when i walk, its weird, maybe my thyroid levels are off again i know that causes me all kinds of pains and problems, but luckily today i went in for blood tests for my thyroid so I'll hear back from my doctor soon. 

My Gastric Sleeve Journey Video 4 May 14, 2011 and itchy hives

Well this will be my fourth video blog, I think i'm getting a little better at these things.  I have a fifth that i made today, think I'll wait a day or two before i post it though. 
Oh I had a protein shake this morning, mixed in it this coffee protein drink from walmart, and a scoop of click protein powder and torani carmel syrup, and ended up with hives all over, itching like crazy and feeling like needles are poking me all over the place, still feel it and its been a couple hours, it really sucks.  I don't think it was from the click, cause i had that like 3 days in a row a few days ago and don't remember any misserable side effects like this.  I think it might be from the coffee protein drink from walmart, probably allergic to one of their preservatives or something, i don't know, all i know is i'm throwing the rest of that stuff out. 

My Gastric Sleeve Journey Video 3 May 13, 2011

This is my 3rd video taken may 13, 2011

My Gastric Sleeve Journey Video 2 April 4, 2011

This is the second Video I made before my surgery.

May 1, 2011 Month 5 of my Journey

May 1, 2011

Weight:  315

Measurements

Waist: 66 ¾

Hips: 63

Breasts: 53 ½

 Ankle: 10 ½

 Wrist: 8

Thigh: 31

Neck: 17

Upper Arms: 21

Clothing Sizes

(note) swimming in the 5X’s 

Dress: 4X-5X 32-24

Pant: 3X-4X 30-34

Skirt: 3X-4X 30-34

Shirt: 4X-5X 32-34

Ok i think my hubby is not taking accurate measurements, cause my waist measurement went up from jan.....ya i don't think so......oh well he tried...lol, i'm just gonna leave it cause no way to tell where exactly he was putting the measureing tape each month, so i'll just continue and just remember it's the best he could do :) I love him.....he's my booger butt :)  He's over here next to me right now eating something yummy a frozen icecream treat....at least it has pecans in it, so its not tempting to me at all not into pecans in my icecream so i told him it was ok for him to eat it in here with me..... 

Oh and i'm currently swimming in my 5X tshirts, and some of my pants are pretty big on me too.....its soooo cool, going to start going through my tubs of clothes i had when i was under 300...i'll have enough to last probably just till i get to 250 and then oh boy the shopping starts.....my favorite part :) 

April 18, 2011 Day before Surgery

Day before surgery measurements, April 18, 2011

Weight:  337.8

Measurements

Waist: 58 1/2

Hips: 65 1/4

Breasts: 56

Ankle: 11 1/2

Wrist:  8

Thigh:  32 1/4

Neck:  18 1/2

Upper Arms:  22

Clothing Sizes

Dress: 4X-5X 32-34

Pant: 3X-4X 30-34

Skirt: 3X-4X 30-34

Shirt: 4X-5X 32-34

These are from April 18, 2011 the day before my surgery.  The next two weeks were ugggg....the first week wasn't to bad, i was in pain but it wasn't as bad as i was worried it was going to be....the second week uck the constipation kicked in and that was a bitch, worst pain ever, even worse then the dang surgery pain, it was no fun at all, not even gonna go into details as to how we ended up getting rid of it, but it last like 5 days or so and it was godawful, i was screaming for my life while on the toilet it hurt so much......well just letting you pre ops know what your in for, but hope i don't scare you away, cause i'm still so happy that i had this surgery....my life is going to be so much better now....:)