The numbers

The problem with the numbers....hmmmmm, well its like when people know that magic number (your weight) they have power over you or something, which is stupid, because its just a number right.  I mean come on, they can look at us and tell we're big, why do they think they have something over us if they know that little (or big) magic number....Thats how my family is, i remember when i had my gallbladder surgery and my great aunt was there for me, well the nurse was nice enough to have me write my weight down instead of saying it out loud while she was in the room....but while I was in recovery, the surgeon told my aunt that magic number.......and oh boy i didn't hear the end of it, she kept throwing it in my face and making faces at me, like i mean come on you saw that i was big, whats the difference in what the actual number was, i don't get it, does it really matter that much?  I also remember when i was younger, and my grandma took me to the doc, well they had only had skinny people scales, and it didn't go up to my weight, and of course my grandma asked right away what my weight was, the nurse just told her it didn't go up to my weight....and when we got back to my grandparents house the first words out of my grandfather were whats her weight?  And of course she had to tell him too that it didn't go up that high, ugggg how embarassing, and i'm pretty sure that was from when i was at my lowest weight too....that doctor's office really had some low weighing scales, i think it only went up to 200 or something....My lowest adult weight was 250, i was 200 in 5th grade.  I just don't understand why the number is so important to these people, sure its important to the doctor so that if you need to have surgery or something they know how much meds to give you, but it shouldn't be important to my family....they see that i'm big, they want me to be less, but what the heck difference does it make what that number is.....  My highest number was 382....and i'm not really sure if that was right or not cause i think that doctors scale was like 8 pounds off....so i think my highest was 8 pounds less then that, but whatever, that was in i think dec. 09.  I was 303 when my aunt went all crazy with the number and kept saying 303....uggggg, just give it a break already lady, I had just had surgery and was feeling miserable i didn't need to be harrassed about the number on the scale...i mean come on.....so thats the number i met my husband at, about 300, or 303 or 297, it was always moving in at those numbers.  And i gained like 30 pounds right away in the beginning cause i started drinking sodas again, and i hadn't been drinking them for a while, and also started eating more then once a day, and started eating out more, and junk food more, when i lived on my own i had a $100 dollar budget for food and toiletries, so yea no extra junk food, sodas, or going out for me when i was on my own....but when i met my hubby....oh boy, we were bad, and its not like we really had money to do that either, but for the first month we lived with his parents, because he was going through a divorce...(not because of me, met him after they decided to split) and they had sodas, and candy and junk food galore, and i didn't have a job or anything, so i was basically just there in their house all day for the month that we lived there, so what else was there for me to do but snack......Well then we moved out, and my weight stayed pretty much at 330 until i found out i had hyperthryoidism...yea i know weird huh hyperthryroidism is the one for skinny people but i had it, go figure, so i had to have my thyroid killed off because we wanted a baby, and the meds for hyperthryoidism aren't safe while pregnant, so we did the radioactive iodine and killed off my thyroid, and after that, oh man was the worst 3 monthes of my life, i was in so much pain, cramps, and spasms all over my body i couldn't move or do anything all summer....it was horrible, i gained 30 pounds, i guess i should be happy thats all I gained....of course i couldn't cook or anything cause i could barely move, so my husband would mainly just get fast food or microwaveables, which uggg not good, and i hate fast food and microwaveables now.  So now i was up to 360, I stayed pretty much at that range give or take a few pounds for the next 4 years.....and now today, Well my weight loss journey started january 1, 2011 at 366 pounds, I gave up sodas and Buffets, and now today April 5, 2011 I weight 342, which 16 of those pounds were lost the past 2 weeks with the pre op diet the surgeon is having me do, which consists of 5 slim fast items, shakes/bars, and a light dinner, meat and veggies, 1200 calorie.