update on herbalife diet and Venting about the past week of HELL

As of today 6-27-13 I have lost 16 pounds doing the herbalife diet, so I'm proud of myself no matter what horrible monsters  might have to say.
I have not been doing it every single day, I have days that are "cheat" days, I save those days for days I'm going to be out and about and stuff, but even on those days I try to watch what I'm eating and not snack throughout the day.  With the sleeve my problem isn't a big meal in one sitting, cause i really can't eat a really big meal with the sleeve, but you can end up snacking throughout the day which is not good, I have been trying to avoid snacking since I've been doing the herbalife diet, there have been times when I have gotten upset and snacked, unfortunately I'm an emotional eater and so that really sucks, but luckily this time it only lasted 2 days and I was able to pick myself back up and brush myself off and tell myself no I don't want monsters to cause me pain and put me down anymore, I'm better then them, and I need to just concentrate on myself and be proud of myself, and not worry about what anyone else thinks of me.  People that only know how to put other people down obviously have very low self esteem and self worth.
I have been through a really tough week this past week, first one of my poor dogs gets horribly hurt, she sliced her side open and we never found what she hurt herself on and we looked all over the yard and house, luckily she's doing ok, she got stitches and stuff but she's a champ, she's so loving and sweet i hate that she got hurt like that, my poor little girl.  Then the same week i get attacked by a monster of a woman, which you can read about in my previous blog.....She was a good friend of my mother in law's and i met her for all of 5 seconds, and she slammed me on facebook saying all kinds of horrible things about me mostly aimed at my weight.  This woman did not look much smaller then me either and her daughter was also extremely overweight, but like i said before she most likely has no self esteem and no self worth to be talking horribly about people the way she did.  The funny thing there were two other witnesses to the entire thing, the lady who's house we were at and my mother in law, and both thought that everything she wrote was utter garbage and lies, my husband even read it and told me that doesn't even sound anything like me.  This woman made me out to be a monster just because i let her daughter know that i was already buying this bin from the lady and her daughter was going through everything putting her hands on everything, so yea i let her know (politely) that i already told the woman i was buying it, and of course that made me a monster telling her daughter she can't have something.  My husband told me she's probably one of those women that never tells their child no, so how dare someone tell her daughter no.  So because of that she attacked me viciously about my weight and that I was going to go and gorge on all the food I just bought and stupid things.  First off all this stuff in the bins this woman sells is organic and healthy, everything in the bins consisted of nuts and olive oils and things like that, not junk food, not garbage, not something someone would sit down and gorge on even if they did stuff like that.  Not to mention I also try to give away some of the stuff when i buy it, to a friend and to my mother in law if there's anything gluten free I always make sure and give it to my mother in law, and stuff, or if i have a lot of extras of something I give them away, I DO NOT gorge on olive oil and dry whole wheat pasta and coconut oil......hmmmm I don't know that anyone would gorge on that stuff, but ok.  It was a really low blow too, this woman doesn't know anything about me, my doctors have told me not to kick myself if I don't loose the weight, I'm on so many meds and yea some of them can cause weight gain, my gastric sleeve doctor told me not to kick myself if i don't loose or even if i gain, that just try to keep my ms under control .  My neurologist told me i can only workout/walk for 2-5 minutes a day, so yea that was an extremely low blow for that woman to say anything about my weight when I have been told by doctors to not worry about that that's the last thing i should worry about right now.  This woman is just pathetic, and she's gotten into fights with my mother in laws other friends, and talks horribly about them behind their backs but yet they still want to stay friends with this monster, god knows why, with friends like her who needs enemies.  Unfortunately my mother in law also said some bad things about me to this woman.....she wanted someone to vent to and she vented to a monster of a woman....I don't mind if she wants to vent about things that piss her off about me but please i beg of her to find a more trustworthy friend to do such things, I mean i have to vent about her at times and i have a friend that I trust 100% to never tell her things I'm venting about. One of the things that really pissed me off is she told this woman i don't let my husband drink sodas, and this woman went off on that, like its any of her business what I allow in my house.  And by the way its not that i don't let my husband drink sodas, he made a promise to me when I had the gastric sleeve surgery that we would both quit sodas together, hell his mom has diabetes he really doesn't need the extra sugar so it really hurt me that she would say anything bitching about that kind of thing, and of course before this awful woman attacked me he was messing with me at my mother in laws house saying he wants a mountain dew.....and his mother knowing our agreement told him he's a grown man go get one if he wants one.....oh that pissed me off so much, I really wish he would have told her then and there about the promise he made to me but no he's to much of a chicken S*&^ so yea I'm made out to be a horrible monster because i don't allow my husband to have a mountain dew oh my god.........I have asked him to sit down and talk to her and let her know that when he says stupid things like he wants a soda while we're at her house that he's just messing with me.....and tell her that he made a promise to me and that means something.
So after all that crap....the very next day after getting attacked my that horrible woman.....i got taken out into the hallway at my stepsons birthday party and basically got scolded by his mom saying that I did this that and the other and I'm looking at her like what....and trying to explain myself and of course she wouldn't let me speak at all.......because whatever her son says is truth no matter what........well after that I sat my husband down and told him he better sit her down and tell her EVERYTHING.  And finally after years and years of me telling him he needs to sit down and tell her everything he finally does.......and we find out that my stepson is a big giant liar to all of us and most of his anger and lies and put at me, that he's telling his mom i did this or that or said this or that that never happened and he comes to us telling us his mom did this or that or the other and that she says these horrible things about me all the time and that never happened.......she got him to admit he was lying about what she "attacked" me about at his party.  It really makes me feel like utter crap to know that all those horrible things he said his mom said were actually coming from him......it was bad enough he was "repeating" stuff like that but for them to actually have come from him makes it that much worse and that much more painful for me.  He was apparently trying to break me and my husband up in a really stupid manner, for some reason he thought talking horrible about me and his mom to each other would break us up and my husband would want to run back to her even though my stepson said all these horrible things about her.....he didn't really think that one threw very well.  Sorry kid I'm in it for the long haul whether you like it or  not.  We're going through fertility treatments to try and have a baby and everything and he knows about that but yet he thought he could break us up by saying mean things about his mother....OMG its the most pathetic stupid ploy I have ever heard.  But now because of all this we find out from his therapist he has dissociative  disorder or something.....so now we have to coddle him and treat him like a baby.......after all the horrible things he said to and about me that part makes me extremely sick to my stomach, but I'll do what I have to do and just get through it.  Oh and all that happened a week before we'll be getting him for a month.....so yea that's just the cherry on top of the big pile of sh$t

Living With MS

First off let me say Living with MS SUCKS.
I hate this disease and I hate the fears associated with this disease.
Everything is harder, I can't do the things I used to be able to do.
Doctors are now going to ASSume every symptom I complain about is MS even if its not.
I can't go grocery shopping without hurting.
Most places are to hot for me, even if they feel comfortable to someone else, its to hot for me, even just a half drop in my temperature and I "freak out" and my neurologist says this is NORMAL.
Whats NORMAL anymore?
Life as I once knew it is over, and all I have left is this shell of a life I'm living in.
I don't have my health.
When I get overheated it starts with pins and needles feeling all over my back, and then my hands start to swell and then the numbness that never went away in my hands gets worse, and more painful, and then my whole body starts to hurt, I have to get in cool air, infront of an airconditioner or fan in order for it to stop hurting, once my body temp goes back down I'm fine.
The action of simply walking hurts my hands and arms and back.  I have a pretty big lesion right in the middle of my spine that swells whenever I do to much, and unfortionately to much is not very much, simply walking to the end of walmart to where the milk is can cause me pain.
My Brain is foggy, and I'm forgetful ALOT, this sucks.  I'm pretty sure I've had the foggy brain since I was 25, things just started to seem more difficult.  Its harder to concentrate or remember things I've read.  Just playing a board game with my family gives me problems, the other day I was playing with my husband and stepson and I could never remember when it was my turn or who I went after, see the game we played before we went clockwise, but for some reason they decided to go counterclockwise with this second game and every single time it was another turn I'd have to ask if it was mine because I forgot who I went after, and that really sucks.
I'm scared of what the summer will bring the heat is very scary for me, although the winter isn't exactly the greatest either because to many places have their heaters way to hot even on days its not at all cold outside so going anywhere is like suffering because of the heat.
Itchiness sucks, your skin just feels yucky, no other way to really explain it.
My eyes go numb when I cry, think of when you go get your eyes dialated and that numbing stuff they put in there that feels just awful,well thats how my eyes get when I get emotional, it sucks.
My right leg throbs, I can't go to the movies without it hurting my leg, I always have to sit behind a bar so my legs can be up otherwise if that area is full of people I have to leave and get my money back because I just can't handle sitting in one of the chairs where I can't put my legs up.  Which also means its hard for me to drive, haven't really driven much since I've been diagnosed back in aug, I only go to my therapist which is only about 5 min away, but today I found out driving about half an hour is way to much for me and my right leg starts throbbing so bad, it just hurts so much.
Just doing household chores is hard, folding hanging putting up laundry, can't do it all at once, have to take breaks in between so much.
Sweeping hurts my back.  Doing the dishes feels awful on my hands because of the numbness.  Touching towels or paper towels are just awful but you have to touch that stuff, but anything with texture hurts my hands and just feels awful.
I've been noticing a bit of balance issues, sort of walking like i'm drunk every now and then, that sucks, luckily I haven't had any falls, really not looking forward to that.
I get dizzy every now and then, the room starts spinning and I just have to close my eyes and put my head down, luckily this doesn't happen as often as it did when I first got out of the hospital.
Having to take daily injections really sucks, at least I have my husband to give them to me.
There are days that I just want to crawl into a hold and not come out.  There are days I just cry and cry because of this awful disease.  There are days when I ask why me?  But then I think Why Anyone?  This is an awful disease, and it has the ability to be all diseases in one, and can destroy someones life.
I'm afraid every day of the next attack, when it will be, what it will be, what new disability or symptoms or meds will i have to endure?  I hate living my life every day in FEAR.  I don't deserve this, no one deserves this disease.  This is a living hell.  All I can do is wait and pray that tomorrow I'll be ok.  And maybe one day they'll find a cure.