Forgive is to Forget and I Can't Do That

Well I've had some pretty crazy family drama lately.  I already disowned my mom's entire side of the family back 5 years ago or so when something pretty bad happened to me.  And now my dad's side of the family wants to join them. 
I was all excited planning a trip by myself, never taken a trip without my husband, never been anywhere without him since we've been together, and before him i would drive to mcallen from san antonio all the time to visit family and stuff.  My therapist even thought it was a good idea for me to get out on my own like this.  So I emailed my cousin letting her know I might (not definite yet, wasn't sure if i wanted to go all the way to mcallen at this point, but thought I'd see if I could stay with her and see what her work schedule was like before making a decision) be going to mcallen in oct/nov time frame, I was also going to go to san antonio and visit my parents and maybe go shopping at the outlet malls in san marcos or something.  Instead of her being polite and writing me back she told our family i was going there when i hadn't even told her  i was for sure and without even getting back to me first, I was incredibly pissed about that.  She had no right telling them until i knew for sure, or at least reply to my email how rude. So i get a call from her, saying my great aunt wants to talk to me that i need to call her.  I'm like ok, not knowing what this was going to be about cause at this point i didn't know she blabbed to everyone that i was thinking about going there.  So i call my great aunt, and she offers me $300 to go 10 hours away from my home with a car that needs new brakes and shocks.  I get extremely stressed out about it, because how do i politely tell her that's not enough money with car problems, and politely tell her i just can't go....i was not trying to ask for more money.  I got extremely stressed called my cousin back up,basically hyperventilating, because i didn't know what to do, she said she'd take care of it, and instead of politely telling her i just couldn't make it right now, i mean i was planning on going in oct/nov when i was actually going to have enough money to take care of everything, but they wanted me to go now....how am i just suppose to jump up and go...She made it seems like i was a money grubbing whore and wanted more money out of it.....$300 wouldn't have even covered the gas to get there i have a gas guzzling minivan....bout 24 miles to the gallon if even that, and with gas prices no way, and what about me eating...and drinking and for an emergency if something happened while i was on the road.  Right now we're broke because I've been trying to get the minivan paid off a year early, so any extra money we get has been going directly to the minivan, so we don't have anything right now, no savings no nothing, just paycheck to paycheck and extra to the minivan and that's it. So a couple days after my cousin had me call my great aunt i call her and see if she's talked to anyone yet, she of course hasn't, so each day i send her a message on facebook asking if she's resolved things, and she doesn't have the courtesy to write me back, no instead a week later i get this message (would you come to a funeral?) That message absolutely pissed me off, how the hell does she think a sudden funeral would put enough money in my bank for me to be able to go 10 hours away and also fix my brakes.  That was absolutely rude, and then she tells me her mom was the one that said it and so of course she had to repeat it back to me, like she always does, ever since she was a little kid she's always had to tell me bad things my family has said about me, I have begged her to stop and she hasn't, and yet she had the nerve to call me rude, and immature, and dramatic, because i asked for an apology from her for her telling me that, I think i deserve an apology, no one needs to hear the mean things their family says about them behind their back, for one their family shouldn't say mean things about them behind their back but for her to repeat it to me makes her worse then them.  I just don't understand why she can't just grow up and be mature and responsible for her actions, and just apologize, she's an adult, she's like 24 or 25 and she's still acting like the immature little kid that would run up to me and tell me her mom said I'm fat, or tell me her mom said I'd never get pregnant because I'm to fat, or tell me our grandpa said I'd brake her bed if i slept on it when i slept over.....god i didn't need to know all those horrible things they've said about me and oh yes there were more, why would anyone do that to another human being is beyond me, its like she doesn't have a soul or something, i mean come on, who acts like that, who is so horrible as to repeat the horribleness that their family says back to the person, man way to make me feel part of the family.  Well she's no longer part of my family, I'll still talk to my grandparents and my great aunt, but i don't care to have anything to do with her.  She has no respect for anyone to act like that, such an immature child, she really just needs to grow up already.  She's always had a silver spoon stuck in her mouth, always had everything she ever wanted and it was never good enough.